With any chronic illness comes the joy of pills – lots of pills. Half of them are trial and error as many of the illnesses have no cure and research has been minimal.

Last night I made a huge mistake. My meds are in those 7 day pill boxes. I accidentally took my morning pills instead of the evening ones.

It is insane to think that within a few hours I was incredibly sick. My body hurt, I was nauseous, shaking and wide awake. It makes you think what insane toxins are in them. I have tried going off them, lets just say it was a disaster.

I wish I didn’t have to spend thousands on meds to poison my body, but the alternative is much worse.

People become vegan for many reasons. Health, religion, animals and of course those that do it as it is in fashion being done by some celebrities.

i do it purely for the animals. My vegan journey started 23 years ago, when I was 9 years old.

It was Easter Weekend and I still lived in Namibia. Friends of mine invited me to their farm 3 hours from the city. I was super excited to go.

We went horse riding on the day after we got there. Before we left there was the cutest goat. I petted him and went on the ride When I returned he was hanging on a hook being bled out. I was hysterical. When I asked their dad what was going on, he said it was for Sunday’s stew. My mother was called and I went home once she finally arrived from the city.

The reason I was so upset was because up until then I didn’t associate meat with living animals. I thought it came from the store. I feel this is the problem with so many kids. They just don’t know.

That was 23 years ago. I was vegetarian for 16 years and then became a full vegan. Best decision I ever made. Never looked back.

Ever feel like you are just a burden on those you love? My partner and my mom seem to carry me in so many ways.

Financially both of them need to spend so much on me. My partner spends most of his salary on my medications and specialist appointments. My mum lets me live with her rent free. She pays for everything including my pets.

Sometimes I think they would both be better off without me. My partner could get married to someone normal and start a family – I might never be able to have kids.

My mom will be able to live comfortably instead of month to month.

What purpose do I serve? None.

Now not to complain about all the flowers blooming and birds returning, but it seems that we went from winter to summer in a week. Thanks to global warming (yes I believe in it) there seems to be no more autumn or spring in South Africa.

Now any women going through menopause or any person with certain chronic illnesses – like me – will tell you that hot flashes are things nightmares are made of.

You sweat, need to wash your hair daily, can’t sleep, feel like you are slapped when you go outside, headaches, acne, oh the list goes on…

So for all my friends in the northern hemisphere, be SO grateful. Think I am going to start migrating to wherever winter is 🙂

Anyone who knows me, knows that i have been the biggest animal lover, advocate and defender.

I have 13 rescues – 6 cats and 7 dogs. As I work from home, I am lucky enough to give them some extra love and attention.

Sadly my beautiful 11 year old cat Daisy-Boo has cancer on his face and will be having surgery again tomorrow. he has spent months getting chemo.

Daisy-Boo has a rather sad story at the start of his life. His mum was caged and used for pitbull fighting training. My mum’s friend rescued the mom and we took the very tiny kitten.

Having fibromyalgia means any extra stress makes the pain worse. I am incredibly worried about him and pray tomorrow is a success.

Stupid Tooth

Last week I went to the dentist, oh what fun! He decided my cracked tooth cannot be saved so out it goes!

3 Days later and I am still in agony. Worst of all my normal raw veggies and hummus lunch is impossible to eat.

I can’t sleep with my CPAP machine either as it hurts too much. In other words along with being in insane pain, I now don’t sleep either.

The cherry on top today is that our Min Pin doggie got nipped by our german shepherd. She is OK, but clearly sore.

It never rains, but pours in this family!!!

Fibromyalgia + Stress = Extra pain and unhappiness…

So happy Women’s Day for yesterday!

I was raised by an incredibly strong, independent mother. My parents had a very messy divorce when I was 10 years old. My mum got full custody, but I still saw my dad once a month for a weekend.

My mum got involved in numerous volatile relationships, but always managed. Eventually we moved from our home town in Namibia, to Johannesburg, South Africa. I was miserable, and always sick. Doctors diagnosed me by saying it’s only growing pains and largely due to my vegetarian diet (I became full vegan at 26). Of course now we know better and it was a load of rubbish. I was always sick. One semester I was off school for 30 days, but still it was all blamed on my diet. Small town meat eater mentality.

My mum was very tough on me, especially when I was sick. She was raised that unless you are half dead, you do not miss school. I think eventually she just gave up with that.

Chronic Illness sufferers are strong. Very strong. Every day most of us get out of bed, put our big girl panties on and go to work. People don’t see what is happening on the inside and the pain we are constantly in.