Burden

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Ever feel like you are just a burden on those you love? My partner and my mom seem to carry me in so many ways.

Financially both of them need to spend so much on me. My partner spends most of his salary on my medications and specialist appointments. My mum lets me live with her rent free. She pays for everything including my pets.

Sometimes I think they would both be better off without me. My partner could get married to someone normal and start a family – I might never be able to have kids.

My mom will be able to live comfortably instead of month to month.

What purpose do I serve? None.

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9 thoughts on “Burden

  1. You are loved and that is why your mother and partner give freely. I’ve asked the same questions of my husband of 15 years, in my worst days I couldn’t see why. That is depression talking. You can look for small ways to show your love to them. If your partner wanted to get married and have kids right now he would, he wants to be with you. Beating the depression back when you are dependent on so many is hard. You have to tell yourself nobody is twisting their arm. Pull up a chair and clean your mother’s fridge, there are task you are capable of and doing them may improve your confidence.
    Best wishes. šŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is amazing advice. Thank you. I am really sorry that you have also suffered from depression. Unless someone has had it, they will never understand. The general feeling is to tell people to snap out of it. If it was that easy why haven’t we done it. People need to think sometimes. I do try at home. I do the laundry, feed all our dogs and cats etc. I just feel so bad to contribute financially. Have a lovely weekend ā¤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I understand the financial quilt, my husband is the only one who works. At times I think we could do more or have more but really it’s just more. We are blessed and not hurting for money, he knows how sick working makes me. I would go back in a minute if needed but honestly not sure how long I’d last. You’re not alone, one of the great benefits of blogging. The are many others who suffer chronic illness. That why we blog. šŸ™‚

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      2. It really does help to talk to people who understand. I do work, I own my own vegan online shop. I pretty much work 7 days a week. We have grown so much in a year, I am struggling to keep up alone. Luckily the office is at my home. I can’t imagine working a corporate job again. And having a boss that does not understand how exhausting this disease is.

        Liked by 1 person

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